Showing posts with label Old age jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Old age jokes. Show all posts
Old age jokes
For the first time in many
years, a an old
man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a
movie.
After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to
purchase some popcorn.
Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help
but comment, "The last
time I came to the movies, popcorn was only
15 cents."
"Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin,
"You're really
going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now.." Read More!
Old age jokes
An old
man visits his doctor and after
thorough examination the doctor tells
him: "I have good news and bad
news, what would you like to hear
first?"
Patient: "Well, give
me the bad news first."
Doctor: "You have cancer, I estimate
that you have about two years
left."
Patient: "OH NO! That's
awefull! In two years my life will be over!
What kind of good news
could you probably tell me, after this???"
Doctor: "You also have
Alzheimer's. In about three months you are
going to forget
everything I told you." Read More!
Old age jokes
Three old ladies met on the street on a very
stormy
day. The wind was so strong and loud that they had difficulty
in
hearing each other.
"It's windy," said one.
"No, it's Thursday," said the next.
"So am I," said the third.
"Let's go and have a drink!" Read More!
Old age jokes
An elderly lady did her shopping and,
upon
returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with
her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding
to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know
how to use it! Get out of the car, scumbags !"
The four men
didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran
like mad,
whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her
shopping
bags into the back of the car and get into the driver's
seat.
She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She
tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later
she
found her own car parked four or five spaces farther
down.
She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police
station.
The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two
with
laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter,
where four pale
white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad
elderly woman
described as white, less than 5' tall, glasses, and
curly white hair carrying
a large handgun. Read More!