Military jokes

There was this General-in-training,
and his superioirs
were asking him questions "What happened on June 6,
1944?" "We
stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as
D-Day, sir!"
"What was the turining point of wordl war 2?" "Battle
of the bulge,
sir!" "What's is the importance of May 12" The Man
thought and
thought "I don't know, sir!" The superior then said
"Well, I'll tell
your wife that you forgot her birhtday" Read More!

Military jokes

During an army basic training, the lieutenant
took the
batch on a match and asked each of them where home was.
After everyone had
answered, he sneered and said "you are all wrong,
the army is now your
home".
Back at the barracks, he read the
evening duties, then asked the first
sergeant if he had anything to
say "you bet I do" the sergeant
replied, "men, while you were gone
today, I found beds improperly made,
clothes not hanging correctly,
shoes not shined and footlockers a mess.
Where do you think you
are? Home? Read More!

Military jokes

A retired sergeant was asked: "Well, how do
you like
civilian life?"
"Terrible," he said gruffly, "all those
people around and nobody in
charge!" Read More!

Military jokes

General Heath, a famous lover of
parade
music and marching drill ceremonies, once listened to a
symphonic
orchestra playing.
When asked about his impressions, he
commented:
"No military precision in drill..."
"Why?"
"Did you see those
violin players? They were moving their bows not in
cadence." Read More!

Military jokes

Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect

Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback.
He had
scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he
couldn't
find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl
win.

Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene
in Bosnia.
In one corner of the background, he spotted a young
Bosnian soldier
with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade
straight into a
15th-story window 200 yards away -- ka- boom! He
threw another hand
grenade into a group of 10 soldiers 100 yards away
-- ka-blooey! Then a
car passed, going 90 mph -- bulls-eye!


"I've got to get this guy!" Ross said to himself. "He has the

perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the
great game of
football, and the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl
for the first time in
history.

The young Bosnian is lioni
zed as the Great Hero of football, and when
Ross asks him what he
wants, all the young man wants to do is to call
his mother.


"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl."

"I
don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted
us.
You are not my son."

"I don't think you understand, Mother!"
the young man pleads. "I
just won the greatest sporting event in the
world. I'm here among
thousands of my adoring fans."

"No,
let me tell you," the mother retorts. "At this very moment,
there
are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble.

Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week,

and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight."

The
old lady pauses, and then tearfully says "...I'll never forgive
you
for making us move to Detroit." Read More!