Dog jokes

Upon
entering the little country store, the
stranger noticed a sign saying;
DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the
glass door.
Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the
floor besides
the cash register.

He asked the store
manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to
beware of?"

"Yep,
that's him," he replied.

The stranger couldn't help but be
amused. "That certainly doesn't
look like a dangerous dog to me. Why
in the world would you post that
sign?"

"Because," the
owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people
kept tripping over
him." Read More!

Dog jokes

A man and his dog went into a pub. The barman said
"Sorry mate no
dogs allowed in here!" The dog said "Oh please
don't be like that,
I'm trained and I won't cause any trouble!" The
bar man was
astonished at the talking dog and sat and chatted with
the dog and it's owner.
After a while the owner went to the toilet
and the barman saw his
chance for a prank. He said to the dog
"Would you do me a favor as a wind
up, will you go down to my friends
bakers shop and order a loaf of
bread??" "Sure!" Replied the dog. The
bar man gave the dog a fiver and
the dog left.

When the
owner came out of the toilet he went into a panic when he saw
his dog
had gone. The barman said "It's ok he's gone down to the
bakery
for me" The owner was livid "It IS NOT OK he's never been out on
his
own, anything could happen to him he could get run over.

The
owner spent the next hour searching for his dog, walking the
str
eets frantically. As he was walking he heard strange noises coming
from an
ally way, he went down and there was his dog having it's
wicked way
with a lady poodle. "ROVER!" Shouted the owner "You've had
me worried
sick, what's the matter with you you've never
dissapeared like this
before!" The dog replied "I've never had a fiver
before!" Read More!

Dog jokes

A man is
walking down the street when he hears
a voice, "Pssst you come over
here!" He looks round and can see no
one but an old mangy greyhound.
"yes over here!" Said the greyhound
"Look at me I'm tied up here, I
should be racing I won 14 races in
my carrer you know?" The man thought
to himself "Oh my god a
talking dog, I have to have it, it will make
me rich, tv appearances
cabaret bookings" So he goes in search of the
owner.

He found
the owner and said "I'd like to buy your dog, is he for
sale??" The
owner says "No mate you don't want that old moth eaten
thing!"
"But I do!" Insisted the man "I'lll give you 1000 pounds for
him. "Ok
said the owner but I think your making a big mistake!" Handing
over
the money the man said "Why do you think that?" The man replied

"Because that dogs a bloody liar it's never won a race in it's

life!" Read More!

Dog jokes

A man was very proud of his guard
dog, he would
leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the world his
house was
guarded. One day a woman knocked at his door. "Is that your
big dog
outside?" Wondering how she had got past him he said "Yes
why?" She
said I'm sorry but my dog just killed him!" "What??" Roared
the
man "What kind of dog have you got??" "A Peke" Replied the
woman. "A
Peke??? how could that little thing kill my big fine guard
dog?" "I
think it got stuck in his throat!" Replied the woman. Read More!

Dog jokes

A man took his dog to the vets and asked the vet to

completely remove the dogs tail. The vet confused said "Why do you

want me to do that? the dogs tail is perfectly healthy." The man
replied
"Well the wifes mother comes this weekend and I want to make
sure
there are no signs of any welcome!!" Read More!