Divorce jokes

A friend
of mine just got divorced. He and
his ex-wife split the
house. He got the outside. Read More!

Divorce jokes

Staring down from the bench to announce the

terms of the
divorce decree, the judge turned to the husband and
said:
"I'm going to award her alimony in the amount of $250 a month."


To which the woman's about-to-be ex replied: "That's
mighty
kind of you, judge. I'll try to help her all I can, too." Read More!

Divorce jokes

Regardless of what you may hear, there's still
many women
these days
who are excellent "housekeepers". Seems
each time they get a divorce,
they keep the house. Read More!

Divorce jokes

Two
men are talking. The first sez, "I got
married because I was tired
of eating out, cleaning the house, doing
the laundry and wearing
shabby clothes."

"Amazing," said the
second, "I just got divorced for the very same
reasons." Read More!

Divorce jokes

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her

pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your
divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the
middle of
the property with a stream running by."

"No," he
said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made
of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he
continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and
uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's
parents."


He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We
have a two-car carport and have never really
needed one."


"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your
marriage?"


"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't
necessarily
like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."


"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes,"
she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I
do."


Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you
want a
divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied.
"I've never wanted a
divorce. My husband does. He said he can't
communicate with me!" Read More!