Car and train jokes

A man is driving along in the Irish
countryside, when he
comes to a petrol station, since he's in need of
petrol, the man decides
to stop. He says to the attendant at the
station, "Fill it up, will
you?". The man says "Sorry - we're right
out of petrol." So the man
considers, and says "Well, I'm a bit low
on oil, would you mind
topping that up?" And the attendant
responds"Sorry, but no oil either."
The man thinks, and asks the attendant
to wash his windscreen, to which
he gets the by-now predictable
response that he can't do that. The man
at this point is fairly mad,
so he asks the attendant "Just what kind
of petrol station is this
?" The attendant then looks both ways, and
very carefully whispers
to the man "To tell you the truth, this is just
an IRA front."


The man then says "Well, in that case, you can blow up the tyres

!" Read More!

Car and train jokes

One day there was a family driving in the
car to Michigan to
visit their relatives. They were looking for the
street they had to turn on
to get to their relatives house. They
accedently turned on the wrong
street so they had to pull in a
driveway and turn around. When they
pulled into the driveway the girl
asked her mother "Why dont these people
have electricity?" Very
confused the mother said, "Wut are u talking
about?" The girl quickly
replied, "Well, the sign back there said NO
OUTLET!" Read More!

Car and train jokes

As a
senior citizen was driving down
the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering,
he heard his wife's
voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard
on the news that
there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate.
Please be
careful!"

"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's
hundreds of
them!" Read More!

Car and train jokes

A man was in court charged
with
parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked if he had
anything
to say in his defense. "They shouldn't put up such misleading

notices," said the man. "It said FINE FOR PARKING HERE." Read More!

Car and train jokes

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck

stop when three Hell's Angels' bikers walked in. The first walked
up
to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and
then
took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old
man, spat
into the old man's milk and then he too took a seat at the
counter. The
third walked up to the old man, turned over the old
man's plate, and
then he took a seat at the counter.
Without a
word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly

thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress,
"Humph, not much of a
man, was he?"
The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver
either, he just
backed his big-rig over three motorcycles." Read More!